Blogging from A to Z with The Private School Mom : L is for Laced Up

As you know, I’m obsessed with the A&E TV show “60 Days In”. I’m learning lots of new prison terminology, that I hope will never come in handy. Getting laced up means the inmate is preparing for a fight. Believe me, I know how they feel, I get laced up every morning because the dust bunnies aren’t going to hop outside all by themselves.

PRISON SLANG ORIGINS

According to Urban Dictionary, boxing gloves are laced up prior to a fight. I think that inmates get laced up because when they get caught fighting, they go into segregation. They don’t want to walk there without their shoes. So, they put them on, they lace up and get ready to throw down. Every single morning, I lace up to tackle housework and destroy the dirt. It’s me against the grime and I win every time. I do this out of love, another word that starts with the letter L.

HELPFUL HOUSEKEEPING TIPS

I’m a lover, not a fighter. Let’s talk more about love and less about getting laced up. I don’t love doing housework, but I love things being clean. One of my crowning achievements is that my son’s baseball pants are the whitest of all the boys on the team. This isn’t a blog about how to get grass stains out of your son’s white baseball pants. If it were, I would tell you to use Fels-Naptha. It’s a bar that is available in laundry section of most stores. Wet the baseball pants, rub with the Fels-Naptha, scrub with a toothbrush and throw it in the washing machine. There, that’s TWO things you’ve learn today. You never know what you’re going to learn when you read this blog, today it’s prison slang and homemaker tips.

THINGS I LOVE

Other things I love are:

My husband (obviously)

My kids (sometimes)

My Parents (without them I wouldn’t be here)

My In-Laws (without them my husband wouldn’t be here)

Ironed sheets (I like to feel like I’m sleeping in a fancy hotel every night)

Warm socks (my feet are always cold. I should probably see a doctor about that)

Chocolate (why I’m not a size 00)

Weekly massages (It’s stressful being a Mom)

Designer clothes (To distract everyone from my personality)

Private jets (obviously)

The ocean (water makes me feel peaceful and calm)

That’s about it. I really don’t need anything else in life other than food, shelter and water. Ok, who am I kidding, I am a private school mom and super high maintenance. There isn’t enough room to list all of the things I love. In addition to my family, I love you. Too soon? Sure, I tend to get involved too quickly. I mean I love you because without you and your support, I wouldn’t be here. All thirty people that read this is why I write these blogs, to entertain you and make you smile. I’m a mom, I don’t need anything in return. You don’t need to even say “Thank You”, unless you want to.

PARAGRAPH OF GUILT

I’m a mom. Moms never get any appreciation. But, if you want to make this mom happy, you can say what you love most about (me or) this blog in the comments. No guilt, I won’t fight you because that’s not being a good role model.  I would never ever, ever ask you to lace up, even if you stole all of the things I love most, except the ocean. I’d totally lace up if you stole all the water in the ocean. So, please don’t do that. Thanks.