One of my parenting goals is to raise kids that aren’t jerks. Part of being a jerk is feeling entitled and that you deserve everything, just because. Life doesn’t always work that way. I think I deserve 25,000 people on my email list. In reality, I have a few thousand less than that. Ok, maybe like 24,993 less than that (I just started it yesterday). I’ll have to work a little harder and wait a little longer to get there. I’m also still working on twitter followers.
IT’S ALL ALLISON’S FAULT!
One of my TF (Twitter Friends) is @allisong6203. Allison suggested I discuss Apple vs. Android for the letter A. If you didn’t already know, I’m writing 26 blog posts this month, one for each letter of the alphabet. Unfortunately, I’ve already written a post for the letter A, so she’ll have to settle for the letter E. My friend Allison is NOT entitled, so she does not mind waiting.
DELAYED GRATIFICATION
iPhone and Android users are quite different. Studies have shown that iPhone users are more entitled. Of course, everyone in our family owns an iPhone. Being a private school mom and soon-to-be super famous author of the best selling book “The Life of a Private School Mom,” how do I keep my kids from becoming even more entitled? The answer is simple, delayed gratification (that really means I say NO a whole lot before I say YES).
THE MARSHMALLOW TEST
Oh, you don’t think I know what I’m talking about? My teenage kids will agree with you. But, maybe you will believe a bunch of Stanford Researchers from the 1970s. They performed The Marshmallow Test. Basically, children were offered one marshmallow now or two marshmallows five minutes later. These children were followed for the next forty years. The children that waited for two marshmallows were overwhelmingly more successful.
GETTING SOMETHING FOR NOTHING
In private school, my child’s friend showed up to school with a new pair of airpods and a new Apple watch. It wasn’t a birthday or holiday. My child who “gets nothing for free”, hated me just a little more after finding out the friend got the airpods and apple watch “just because they wanted them.”
After my child looked at their bare wrist, (and probably had not such nice thought towards me), they realized something. My child looked at their laptop and thought about how they had to earn money for it, and felt accomplished. My child got home from school, looked around their room and all the things they bought with their own money, earned by doing chores and felt proud. You can buy an airpod, but you can’t buy the feeling of self-confidence from being accomplished and proud.
WORKING TOWARDS A GOAL
My kids decided they wanted airpods. After blood (a nasty papercut while shredding papers), sweat (more chores plus good grades on their report card) and tears (giving up their ipad), they finally earned their airpods.
The next day, I asked my daughter to put away her clean laundry. She said “Mom, I can’t hear you over the richness in my ears”, and pointed to her airpods. It’s a fine line between self-confidence (a good thing) and entitlement (a bad thing). Afterward she laughed and said “Someone at school said that. Can you believe it?” while walking towards the laundry room. OMG! Is all of this crazy parenting stuff actually working?
GET INSTANT GRATIFICATION BY JOINING MY MAILING LIST
I work very hard at not raising jerks, so I’m entitled to have good children. I’m also entitled to having a huge email list. You alone have the ability to make me feel proud and accomplished. Please join my email list by leaving your email in the comments (or clicking here). See, how I did that? You thought this post was about entitlement, but it was really just a way to sucker you into subscribing to my email list, which also starts with the letter E. Don’t worry, in the first email, I will give you a cookie. You can thank me later.
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