I have broken the code! Teenagers think parents don’t understand them. Things were so different back then. We have not been through the same trials and tribulations. Of course, they don’t use the word trials and tribulations because they have not yet learned that word or graduated high school. Even with all of their teenage apathy, I have figured out how to get your teenage child to willingly give you not only a hug, but also a kiss!
GOING TO THE MEETING
Monday night, I went to the planning meeting for the annual school fundraiser from 7PM to 8PM. The time is important because I am always in bed by 8:30 PM, without fail. I totally forgot about the meeting and Shari reminded me. Shari is new to the school, our daughters are in the same grade.
When I’m not planning a fundraiser, I’m watching the TV Show 60DaysIn. It’s about innocent people that voluntarially go to prison for 60 days, to expose and reform our prison system. In prison, Shari would be referred to as “fresh meat”. We’re not in prison, we’re in private school, so I just refer to her as “my friend”. We hit it off right away since we both love to talk.
PICKING UP THE PACKET FOR SHARI
Shari had to work late. Unfortunately, she couldn’t make it tonight and asked if I could drop off a copy of the fundraiser packet after the meeting.
The meeting got out on time, right at 8:00. Dropping off the packet at Shari’s house will get me home at 8:15 instead of 8:10. No one in the family will even notice. I’ll easily slide into bed by 8:30 PM, dreaming of sheep jumping over fences.
DROPPING OFF THE PACKET FOR SHARI
I pull into Shari’s driveway, my face automatically smiles. In ten minutes, my toes will be wiggling inside my fluffy nighttime socks, tucked under the covers of my soft bed. I love naps and sleeping at night is just an 8 hour nap–my favorite part of the day. I’m so excited to get home, that I don’t even shut my car door. My purse and cell phone are visible on the passenger seat and my headlights are on.
I’m about to drop the packet on the front porch when the front door opens. Shari is home! She invites me inside to put the packet on the table. I’ll go inside for a minute and still be home by 8:15 PM. Her daughter walks into the foyer, cell phone in her hand, talking on facetime.
THE PHONE CALL
“Yes, she’s right here.” Shari’s daughter says. The voice on the other end sounds familiar, but I can’t quite place it.
“Can I see her? I need visual proof,” the voice on the other end says in a panic. Shari’s daughter points the phone at me. This is really odd, but I go along with it. Smiling, I awkwardly wave and ham it up for the camera.
“Mom, when are you coming home? I tried calling you!” my daughter’s voice blurts from the phone.
SOMEONE IS MISSING!
My hand goes to my back pocket. Where is my phone? It’s in the car, next to my purse. I look at my watch, it’s 9 PM?!?!?! Fear runs through me. My streak of being in bed by 8:30 PM has been broken. The fear intensifies. My purse! The headlights are on!
“I’m leaving now.” We’ve been talking for almost an hour? How did that happen?
Quickly hugging Shari goodbye, I race toward my car. My door is closed and my headlights are off. Oh, right, I drive a fancy shmancy private school mom cars (cough, Tesla, cough). I feel for my car key, which is in my pocket. When I walked away from the car, the driver’s side door automatically closed, the car turned itself off and the doors locked. When Elon Musk designed this car, he couldn’t have known tonight would happen, or could he?
AVOIDING AN AMBER ALERT
I slide into the drivers seat and check for my purse. I’m so lucky it’s still there. I breath a sigh of relief as I pull my iPhone out of the center console: 49 missed text messages. I scroll through “Mom,” “<3” and “where are you?” The phone rings.
“Hello?” I say calmly.
“Mom, you need to call me if you stay out late!” My daughter admonishes, “I had Dad track your car from the app (another cool Tesla feature). I thought you were abducted. You can’t stay out that late without telling someone!” After I get over the shock that she sounds more like a parent than a child, I realize that she’s right. I also realize that my husband was pretty smart to buy a car that can track me down.
THE KISS
Entering my house, my daughter run to me, throws her arms around me and hugs me. With her arms tightly wrapped around me, she said “You are always in bed by 8:30 PM. You didn’t answer any of my calls or texts. I thought you were dead!” with that, she plants a kiss on my cheek.
A KISS!
I have broken the code! Make your family think you are dead. When they find out you are not, you’ll get lots of hugs and kisses.
The next morning, I approached her with open arms “I’m not dead, HUG?”
She rolled her eyes like every other teenager in America. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.
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