Blogging from A to Z with The Private School Mom : C is for Cooking

I not only have all the duties of being a Stay At Home Private School Mom (SAHPSM) but now they expect me to feed them, too? My family is so demanding! Thank goodness, they can purchase lunch at school or I would seriously lose my mind. I have better things to do, like write 26 blog posts in 30 days.

EASY MEALS

The other day, my teenage son came to me and said “Mom, eating is a lot of work, is there a pill I can swallow that has all of the vitamins and calories I need for the entire day.” After my heart swelled with joy over his obvious laziness, I considered the many hours I spend cooking, cleaning and throwing away food that my family refuses to eat because it just doesn’t taste good. I try telling them that the crispy black burnt areas add flavor, but they still refuse to eat it. The other times, when I don’t burn it and leave the middle raw, especially fish or chicken, they also refuse to eat it. I can’t win! It’s all a waste of time because they always end up eating a bowl of cereal for dinner. A food pill would solve so many problems. No more slaving over a hot stove, no more cleaning up, wiping down counters, putting the dinner plates in the dishwasher. I have already planned what I will do with all of my free time. If you think I would say “shopping”, you would be wrong.

LAZINESS IS GENETIC

I would binge watch the TV show 60 Days In. It’s an A&E TV show about people that have not been convicted of any crime and thrown into jail for 60 days. As a SAHPSM, I can relate with these non-felons. I’m really watching it more for the kids than for me. I feel that it’s important to teach the kids how to survive in life. In case they don’t listen to my pearls of wisdom and ignore me, ending up in the pokey. I can teach them how to make a shiv. I can also teach them how not to “catch a charge” as a “first timer.” Those are just of few of the many new terms I have learned from watching this show.

GETTING OUT OF JAIL THROUGH THE SIDE DOOR

Oh, who am I kidding! My children are private school kids. We’ll just hire a ridiculously expensive lawyer who goes golfing with the judge and all the charges will be dismissed. On the other hand, if I save my money and just let them use a regular public defendant, they’ll end up in the pen. I won’t have to cook dinner for them anywhere from 30 days to 30 years (depending upon what they did).

FINAL THOUGHTS

But, let’s be honest. My kids are good kids. They have never even been to the principal’s office. So, it looks like I am sentenced to cooking dinner and cleaning up afterwards for the forseeable future.

Please comment below if you know of any tricks to providing dinner for my family (like uber eats). Do you know of any food pills I can feed my son. Ooh, the next season is 60 Days In is available. It’s a good thing I stocked up on milk and cereal.